Happiness
by Azure1
Summary: I'm sucked with summary but if you are looking for Suu/Kazuhiko, this story is make for you. R/R please.


Happiness

Hi, everyone. This is my Clover first fic. Be kind please. I didn't read Clover fic much. So if it accidentally similar with somebody's work. Please accept my humble apologize.Special thanks to [**Stephanie Martin**][1] who beta-reading for me. 

Please feel free to send comments and suggestions at my email. r_azure_r@yahoo.com

Disclamier: All characters are Clamp property, not mine.

July 31, 2001

O...O...O...O...O

Happiness  
By Azure R

"Kazuhiko! NO!" She screamed desperately when she watched him fall to the ground, blood soaking his clothes.

She rushed toward him and held him tightly. Tears ran down on her cheeks and landed on his rough face.

No. It couldn't end like this. Why were the 'Wizards' doing this to her? She only wanted happiness. Only happiness.

I want to be happy  
I want happiness  
I want to be happy  
I seek happiness

"Happiness". The word that she had heard, but could never know what it meant. How could she know it? She had lived alone in the glass castle since she was a child, and no one came to visit her, except 'the General Koh' or 'Grandma Koh', the name the old woman wanted to be called.

Some nights she dreamed of a woman's voice singing a lullaby, which convinced her that she had heard it somewhere. She brushed it out of her mind easily, like a three-year-old girl would do.

Until one day she found that she could see the people outside without using her eyes. It was something that she couldn't explain, and she didn't know how or why she had ability to do it.

She saw two children walking on the street with a woman. She eavesdropped on them, as she found out what was family was. They talked and laughed and smiled. She could sense something so warm wrapped around them. She felt a numbed ache in her heart. She wished she could be one of the children who was loved by their mother.

Then a flash appeared in her mind. That voice in her dreams. Is it her mother's? Who is supposed to sing lullabies, if it is not a mother?

But why she was here alone? Would mother come get her?

I want to be happy with you  
To cause your happiness  
I want to be your happiness  
To be your happiness

A week passed since she had seen that family. She was anxiously wondering when 'grandma' would come see her. Many questions had formed in her mind and the only one who could answer them was the old woman.

Yes.

She wanted to get out of here. She wanted to see her mother. She wanted to know when mother would come to take her home. She imagined that was what she would do with her mother. Most of all, she promised to herself that she would make her mother happy. She would.

So take me  
Take me  
To a true Elsewhere  
To a true Elsewhere  
Please take me there  
Deliver me

She waited and waited, but the old woman did not appear at her 'glass castle' like usual. Her anxiety increased gradually as she waited, and it turned into a nightmare, in which she saw the back of a woman whom she suspected to be her mother. She was alarmed when she saw that woman walked away from her. She ran towards and cried to stop the woman. But the woman kept on walking until she disappeared.

"No! Don't leave me alone! Please!"

Then someone shook her gently, and pulled her out of the dream. She blinked briefly to expel the tears in her eyes and saw that it was 'grandma Koh'. She threw herself in the old woman's arms and grasped her clothes tightly, as tears filled her eyes again.

The General returned the embraced tenderly.

"What's wrong, child?"

She looked up and used her hands to brush her tears out before she answered.

"I dreamed that mother walked away from me and didn't turn to see me, even when I called her,"

"It was only a dream,"

"Where is she? Grandma, why she didn't live with me? Why do I have to stay here alone?"

She watched the old woman, pleading through the hot tears in her eyes. But the general did not say anything. So she went on.

"Please, Grandma! Take me to her! Please!"

Koh tenderly away brushed her tears before she said sadly.

"It's beyond my power, Suu"

She clinged at grandma's clothes tightly and cried again until she fell asleep sometime in the dead of night.

Birds locked inside a birdcage  
A bird in a glided cage  
Birds deprived of flight  
A bird bereft of flight  
Birds deprived of song  
A birds that can not cry  
Birds left all alone  
A birds all by itself

After that, she learned gradually the fact that she was in the 'Clover' project that the parliament organized; in the care of the 'Wizards'. Its purpose was to gather 'SP' people. They divided it into four classes.

She did not have any idea how many people were in this project, except that it had some 'Two-Leaf-Clover' and a few less 'One-Leaf-Clover'.

However, the two groups were lucky because some of them had permission to live like normal humans, merely watched by some of them who worked with the 'Wizards'.

She also knew that the 'Three-Leaf-Clover' were triplet boys. Their names were 'A', 'B' and 'C'. They were imprisoned as well as her somewhere, but at least they had each other.

But her, 'Four-Leaf-Clover' had no one. The only person who came to visit her was 'grandma Koh', the kindest person in the 'Wizards', though she hardly went to the 'Glass Castle', and mostly called by phone.

Some people she saw by using her power said that they wanted to have that phenomenal power, so they could use it to organize the world as they wish. She laughed bitterly at that idea. They never knew what it was like to have it.

With the power that could destroy the earth, Four-Leaf-Clover should not be allowed to live a normal life in any way. Loving someone would lead to tragedy, because love brings out very strong emotions and the Clover's power would go out of control when shefell in love. The 'Wizards' knew this and confined her in the 'glass cage' to separate her from the world, to clip her wings so she would not fly away, to keep her from loving anyone.

She was a bird that was locked inside a cage for eternity.

Take me  
So take me  
I want happiness  
I want happiness

She did not know how she could get through life until she was in the beginning of her teenage years. Maybe, it was because of the 'wish' a 'Three-Leaf-Clover' gave to her.

It happened two years ago. She was watching the outside world when she felt someone using enlarged power. It had to be 'Three-Leaf-Clover'. She turned her attention to them worriedly.

The last time she sensed it was the time the boy named B was murdered by A, who was angry that C spent more time with B than him.

She wished that none of them would die this time. It was as if God wanted to grant her wish that he had ignored all this time. She saw C escaping from his jail. She prayed silently that he would fly and never came back again. Finally he had permission to live with a man who worked in the army. Though he was watched by the man, he had more freedom. It gave her a hope that someday she could have the liberty to live outside like him.

Please take me there  
Please, take me  
I want happiness  
To have happiness

She looked at the plates before her sadly. It was her birthday and Mr. Rabbit, the rabbit that grandma Koh sent to serve and watch her was managing a little party. She felt very lonely. No one could be here with her. She asked the red-eyes creature to entertain her but it refused with the reason that it had many things to do.

The General woman she wanted to see for a moment on her birthday did not come. She only called in the morning and wished her to be happy, following a magnificent gift.

She began to sing 'Happy Birthday' to herself, when she heard someone was singing the melody. It was Oruha, the singer she adored so much. She was hesitant to talk to the woman because the 'Wizards' had forbidden her to contact anyone except the 'Wizards'

Nevertheless, it was her birthday. She should have the right to do what she wanted. Moreover, she did not do anything to them. So they may ignore it and allow her to talk with Oruha.

My first emotions  
My first thought  
My last desire  
And my last wish

Bitter tears ran down her cheeks. Oruha died because of her. It was all her fault. If she had listened to grandma Koh's words, it may not have ended like this.

Yes. The old woman had warned her not to contact her friend again after she found that she called Oruha. She tried but failed finally. Oruha was the first joy in her lonely life and she could not throw her only source of happiness out. The 'Wizards' were afraid she would fight them, though she did not think of that. They managed to avoid that by murdering her friend.

The kind Grandma Koh went to look at her after Mr. Rabbit informed her of her lack of appetite. The old woman asked what was she could do to compensate and she said that she wanted to grant Oruha's wish.

Oruha dreamed of being a renowned singer. So she asked the witch to spread the song she and Oruha had composed and sang together.

The old woman knew her well and offered to make Oruha an angel. Then no one would forget her and she also built the fairyland that had Oruha's big sculpture in the center.

This is where the fairy waits  
A promised land where fairies wait  
The Promised Land made just for  
With room just enough for two  
The two of us

Again, time passed slowly and she had nothing to do. She enjoyed sleeping, and slept as much as she could. It made her happy to see Oruha again, though it was only a dream. However, the guilt in her heart never vanished. She still blamed herself for Oruha's death. It consumed her gradually and she felt she could live no more. She wanted to stop her sorrowful life before another person died on her account.

But she couldn't give up her life so easily if she did not first go to the fairyland to say a last goodbye to her important friend.

It was not easy to make the 'Wizards' let her go out of her 'glass castle'. She knew that they would allow her to go if she offered them the things they wanted from her.

She paid for her moment of freedom with her life, plus the condition that Kazuhiko, Oruha's lover, would be the only one to bring her to the fairyland.

She waited in her cage until he came to take her to the happiness that she was looking for.

So take me  
So deliver me, help me  
To disregard the reality of day  
To forget the tribulations of day  
To stay in the dreamscape of night  
And to stay in this dream of night  
For me to think of you for eternity  
Where I can be thinking of you forever

She welcomed the outside world she had not seen for a long time gladly. Kazuhiko led her to his friend's house first where she met the 'Three-Leaf-Clover', C, there. Only he did not use C as his name anymore, replacing it with 'Lan'. She knew that he knew her like she knew him, but they did not show any sign of it. The 'Clover' project was a secret from the world. Moreover they could not anticipate what would be Kazuhiko's reaction if he knew they had the power that normal people did not have.

During the time of travel, many things happened but she was never scared as long as she was with him. She feared dreadfully that he would be frightened if he knew that she had the power that normal people should not have. But it turned out the other way. He acted like it was a normal thing. Maybe that was the reason why Oruha loved him so much, because no matter what happened, he would not turn his back to her. But most of all, he could accept that she was still being herself.

She wanted to stop this time forever, but it was not possible. They reached the fairyland finally.

She knew it was last time for her. She had to do what she had promised to the 'Wizards' if she wanted him to remain alive. She told her love to him and used her power that had been confined in her body too long.

And then it happened. The 'Wizards', afraid she would change her mind, hastened to attack them. Kazuhiko shielded her from the wires that hurled toward her and fell from the ground.

"Kazuhiko! NO!" She screamed desperately. She ran to him and held him tightly. Tears ran down her cheeks and landed on his rough face.

She held Kazuhiko tightly as she watched Oruha's sculpture moving. It was very obvious that the 'Wizards' used Oruha's sculpture, knowing that she couldn't do anything to her friend, even it was only a stone.

Take me  
Take me  
I want happiness  
To my bliss

She checked Kazuhiko briefly and found that he was dead. She had again caused the ones she loved to die. She did not care if they killed her or not. But she denied going back to her cell.

She saw the carved stone fall over them with no fear. If she had to die, she would love to die with him, the man she loved.

"Take me with you, Kazuhiko" She whispered when the stone landed on them.  


**End.**

   [1]: mailto:saturnine13@hotmail.com



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